Why Your Networking Game SUCKS (And How To Fix It)

If your networking game isn’t up to par, you have a long, unfruitful slog in front of you. I’ve been playing the networking game for a long time and made a lot of mistakes. I’ve also seen a lot of triumphs. It’s my purpose in this article to share them with you. Please have an open mind, be objective to yourself and your behaviours and be willing to explore these ideas for yourself.

The Networking Game is everything. I’ve seen one conversation take some of my friends and contemporaries to a whole new level. I’ve also seen others destroy their chances with their dream connections because their networking game just wasn’t up to scratch.

The fact is, we could all benefit with sharpening our networking game up. Let’s make active change and actively check ourselves. As they say, your network is your net-worth.

Here are some things to think about.


Me, Me, Me, Me, Me

networking game

“I just wanted to reach out and tell you about my new business”
“I’m reaching out to ask if you would do me a huge favour”

Two examples of bad networking game, it’s not so bad if you already know someone. If this is your first contact or you’re just starting to talk to them it’s a very bad idea to frame the conversation about yourself and/or what you can get from the other person.

If this is your approach what you are communicating is that this is going to be the beginning of a selfish relationship. You give no idea that you know what they do, or that you have an interest in seeing them flourish. Don’t give off the vibe that you’re in this for what you can get.

You get further in this world by giving, start your relationship by taking action. Here’s some ideas.


You could say: “I just read your blog post about x, to your point x I was wondering if you could elaborate on that point”
Why it works: Not only are you showing them that you have taken the time to look at what they do, by asking for them to elaborate you show them that you care about their thoughts. Thus making them feel as though you respect and appreciate their time.

You could say: “I just watched your new video, would you mind if I share it?”
Why it works: Again you are showing them you have taken the time to look at their content, two you are showing them you’re respectful and have manners.


This may seem like it’s not a big deal but influencers get hit up everyday by people who want things from them. Its a welcomed change when someone hits them up with the intention to do them a favour instead. This is going to set you apart and leave a hopefully unique mark on this person which leads into the next point.


Be Memorable

networking game

With the sheer amount we are all getting it up and hitting up others every day, it’s so easy to get lost in the crowd in the networking game. I know in the hip-hop community the amount of times people used the same language; ‘word’ ‘dope’ ‘bet’ as some examples. The same old language, the same old questions, it was refreshing to receive a message from someone who was a little different.

Whether they spoke in a different vocabulary or asked different questions it didn’t matter. Either way they stood out and became memorable and this immediately set them a part from everybody else who messaged me.

Not limited to those two things, whether its the use of humour, the depth of conversation or otherwise. Aim to be memorable. Life’s too short to be a cookie cutter of the last and the next person.

Be creative!

Be Purposeful

networking game

Have a reason to talk to people in the networking game. Like in the first point have a question to ask, have a result you want from the conversation. “How are you?”, “whats up?” you already know what the answer will be to questions like that. It often feels fake, we know you don’t really care how we are, it’s just conversation filler or a perceived starter.

Similar to the point about being unique, you need to start with something different and have their attention from the jump. Again, lead with a purpose, separate yourself from the dozens of people messaging them daily by coming away from that conversation with both of you gaining something. Don’t make idle chit chat.


Quality > Quantity

Networking Game

It may seem like a great idea to log on to social media right now and copy and paste the same message to 100 people. Obviously the more contacts we have the better but, it’s not about width, it’s about depth. It’s not about how many people you know but it’s how well you know the people you do know.

If you’re having light and samey conversation with multiple people then you are not going to experience a fruitful relationship that you would building with someone based on who they are and what they do. Again keep it purposeful.

Take your time to get to know the right people. Don’t fall into the trap of having dozens of messages to reply to. It takes a lot of energy to converse sometimes. Save your energy for detailed purposeful convo that leads to genuine respect and care.

Relationships that lead to collaboration and real exchanges.


Be More Selective

Networking Game

Hand in hand with the last point, if we wish to have more quality relationships, let’s make sure thats with higher quality people. Be selective in who you build with. If you build with the idea that you are building rapport and relationships as opposed to gaining fans, you will see much better results.

Who are you going to pick? The guy who has nothing going on for them that is consistently posting updates about bullshit? Or are you going to talk to the girl who seems to have everything together, posting meaningful updates and building her own brand?

If you want more quality conversation an contacts, you must pick people of a higher quality. People who value their own time and use it constructively. You need friends who equal or surpass your work ethic. You need friends who inspire you to do and be more.



Success In The Networking Game

Hopefully you can put these tips to work. Remember your friends are a representation of who you are as a person. Pick wisely and communicate effectively. Don’t beat around the bush but don’t jump the gun either. Be a genuine person and prove that you care about others.

Just be constructive with your networking, you will thank yourself when you have a high value network.

BTW if you have a networking tip you would like to share with others, please do comment below!

Also, if you have the time i definitely recommend checking out this blog post:  Your Time Means Nothing To Other People (Unless You Do THIS)

Author: Daniel J. Scott

As an internet marketing professional and self development enthusiast I am here to help you make money by becoming a better version of yourself.